STAY-AT-HOME DADS DON’T GET THEIR DUE
Wow, that Sarah Palin is
really something. She’s governor of the
largest state in
None of her present fame,
of course, would be possible without the brave, risky but confident decision of
a noble and honorable man, a maverick who stands against the tide and goes with
his gut instinct when he believes it’s the right thing to do. I’m referring, of course, to her husband.
Quick, what’s his
name? How long is it taking you to
remember the name of Tim Palin?
Actually, it’s Todd. Gotcha.
The media’s portrayal of
Sarah Palin as a woman who does it all is hopelessly stuck in the 70’s. Remember the perfume ad for the woman who can
“Bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you’re a
man?” Today’s senior political reporters
grew up during that time; the image of the feminist icon who
can do everything still affects how they think.
Newsweek talked about
Palin’s “raising a child with Down’s Syndrome”.
Hello? Isn’t her husband helping
just a teensy, weensy bit? The New York
Times did a major piece on how Palin combines politics and motherhood. Out of eighteen hundred words, a whopping twenty
were devoted to her husband. Not that
he’s any big deal. He’s just the man who made her combining of politics and
motherhood possible.
Some of this is probably
spin control by the Republicans. While
they’re not often in agreement with the liberal media, they want
Palin seen as a Supermom
too. Palin was picked to mollify the
party’s social conservative base. They
want to be darn sure that she isn’t completely handing over her maternal duties
to hubby.
That’s why Mommy Palin is
going to be seen holding her baby every chance she gets. By contrast, I predict we will never, ever
see a picture of Dad holding the baby, unless Mom is in shot too. The image would simply be too jarring to
social conservatives.
When Todd Palin’s wife got
the Republican VP nomination, I thought of the only full-time Dad I know. Tim Born is a retired tough-as-nails Marine,
married to an Air Force general in a position of national visibility. I have to mention his toughness because
that’s part of the media guidelines for describing full-time Dads. Did I mention Todd Palin is a champion
snowmobile racer?
The Borns have two
daughters in elementary school. As Tim
puts it, “It’s easier to put two hundred Marines in the field than it is to get
two girls on a school bus.”
For Tim, the decision to
stay home was a “no brainer”. The
tradeoff was pretty simple: More money
with a second income, or a better life for the kids. Does this sound at all familiar? Feminists would doubtless applaud Tim’s
decision to stay home, since he’s supporting his wife in a prominent leadership
position. Just like
But if supporting your
wife’s career is so laudable in men, why are feminists so critical of the decision
to stay home when the genders are reversed?
Realistically, as long as it’s an honest decision reached by consenting
adults, what difference does it make?
The hypocrisy is mind-boggling.
Those of us who live
actual lives with actual jobs raising actual families know that reality is very
different from the stereotypes of the media or the agenda of any ideologically
motivated group. No one person has it
all. No one person does it all. Regardless of where the spotlight is,
marriage and family are a team effort.
So Todd, Tim, and every
other house husband with a well-known wife, you guys totally rock. Maybe someday you’ll get the credit you
deserve. Maybe someday we’ll get to a
world where we can see past the stereotypes, through the agendas, and just see
people trying to make the best decisions for the ones they love. Maybe you and others like you will help us to
start wondering whether the Family That Has Everything ever made sense to begin
with. No family can have everything.
Just everything that’s
important.